Post by Eric W on Jun 7, 2011 14:48:01 GMT -5
Jesse: Thank god we're finally in a company that doesn't contain a headache!
Gene: Oh will you Stop it! Hello everyone!!! "Mean" Gene Okerland along side Jesse "The Body" Ventura for United Wrestling's Premire episode!
Jesse: Don't You tell me to shut up! I am the Governator!
Gene: Horrible Arnold impression. Never the less, let's go now to our 2nd announce team, Jerry "The King" Lawler and Good Ol' JR Jim Ross!
Jim: Alright thanks Gene! Hello Ladies and Gentleman and welcome to a landmark night in pro wrestling! the company formerly known as AWL-EMW is now the place where wrestlers from all around the world will meet inside this ring to create some of the best matches of all time!
King: THIS IS GREAT JR!!! PUPPIES FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD!!!!
JR: I know King.....Just this time....please keep your hands on the table......Ladies and Gentleman I just received word that right now UW Owner Shane McMahon is on his way out to the Stadium!
Shane: Welcome all to the premire of United Wrestling!!! Tonight is a landmark night not only because I was the consortium of AWL/EMW but because I am taking the company to higher places. This is too big for youtube to handle so this is the debut to the REAL WRESTLING FANS on the Wrestling Forums! Eric "The Red" and Jon O'Deeves were mediocre business men and had no direction that is why I am here! I saw from a mile away they were suffering so once Eric had gave up finally I left my Senile father's company and came on down to the Tri State Area where I grasp this company and now point it into THE direction! In closing I hope you all enjoy the show tonight! let's get this under way!!!
Shane: Oh and Miz....you may be a big fish in a big pond over in THAT COMPANY but here with your limited wrestling ability and horrible persona, the answer is NO!
JR: I can't believe what just transpired! that was super uncalled for! nonetheless the show MUST go on! and it shall with our first match!
JR: Match is under way and very nice Headlock into takedown there, looks Like Benjamin is taking control of the early going here.
Ref: 1...2...
King: kickout and MVP doesn't look to pleased, he really thought he had this match won!
JR: MVP going for a High Risk Manuever here!
JR: WHAT THE....BENJAMIN LEAPS UP TOP
JR: FLUX CAPACITOR AND MVP KICKS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR: Porter went for the Playmaker and Shelton countered
King: T-BONE SUPLEX!!!
JR: MVP COUNTERS!!!
JR: PLAYMAKER!!!!!
King: HE"S GOT EM' IN CONVICT'S CASTLE!!!!!!
JR: HE TAPS OUT!!!!
King: Winner, MVP looking for sportsmanship.
JR: what the hell is this? Shelton walking away and MVP wants some answers
JR and King: Ron Killings?!
Ron: Deliverance!!!!
King: Deliverance?!?! JR what is Killings talking about?!?!
JR: No Idea King, the guy is a wackjob...to continue on with the action it is time for our 6 man ladder match for the United Wrestling X-Division Championship!!!
King: WOW HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!
JR: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!! THIS KID IS INCREDIBLE!!! HE SURVIVED EM ALL!!!
King: Joe doesn't look too happy JR.
JR: oh come on!!! That was uncalled for!!!
King: yeh hoo!!! Women's title time!!!
King: OH MY GOD JR!!!! LOOK LOOK!!!! WE GET PUPPIES AND PIGEONS LET LOOSE!!!!! I LOVE UNITED WRESTLING!!!
JR: DAMNIT JERRY WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?!?! KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS ON THE TABLE OR ILL POUR SOME BARBEQUE ON THAT CROWN OF YOURS!!!
Gene: Hope we can join in on the commentary. Velvet goin for the cover early in the match, 1....2..
Jesse: Why would Lita do that now
Jim Ross: It's a 3 way dance!!! there's no friends in this match!
Jesse: I know that but ya think Lita would be a bit generous.
JR: cover! 1...2.
Jesse: Lita is so damn selfish!
Jesse: Good! now none of you better complain! Karma is a bitch!
King: Karma's also pregnant
JR: Oh geez....
Jesse: What's the matter JR she's a big girl
Gene: Will you too cut it out!!!!
King: OH MY GOD!!!!
Jesse: Don't worry king I'll check up on her!
King: JR I'll be right ba....
JR: King....stay....STAY!!!
Gene: umm Jesse we're in the middle of a match here and you're not a doctor....
Jesse Off Mic: I'm trying to be helpful she could have a broken jaw!
Gene: Wait a minute I thought she was hurt?!
Jesse: SPEEDY RECOVERY!!!! WIN IT VELVET!!!
Ref: 1...2...3!!!!
Jesse and King: YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR: such a sneeky act!!! Lita looks pissed and she should be!
Gene: I don't even think she was even hurt!
Jesse: Would you two shut up and realize we have a new champion?!
JR: We have to shift gears now because coming up at this time is the 4 team tag team gauntlet for the United Wrestling World Tag Team Championships!
JR: Unbelieveable!!! The Hardy Boyz advance in the Tag Team Gauntlet!!!
Gene: IT"S DEMOLITION!!!
Jesse: They Strike pure fear in wrestler's eyes!!!
Jesse: And just like that!!! Demolition crush the competition!!!
JR: Already the dudleys are coming in!!!
Gene: Oh no!!! don't do this!!!!
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!
Gene: Our announce table has been decimated at the hands of Buh Buh Ray Dudley!!!
Ref: 1....2...3!!!!
Jesse: We have NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!
Gene: Yeah but at what price? up next is Matt Morgan vs Ron " The Truth" Killings
JR: Ron Killings trying to pull The Blueprint off the ring apron...wasn't a bright idea...
JR: We might have this match under way now.
JR: Benjamin?!
King: MVP?!
Jesse: What the hell is going on??!
Gene: MARK HENRY?!?!?!?!
Gene: What are those white armbands they're all wearing?!?!?
JR: Good God!!
Jesse: I think the ring just moved!!!
King: Drive by kick by MVP!
Gene: Morgan trying to get up!
JR: Super Kick!!!
Jesse: Paydirt!
JR: OH MAH GOD!!! WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAM TO THE 7 FOOT BLUEPRINT MATT MORGAN!!!!
Killings: Y'ALL NEED TO SHUT UP IF YA WANT ANSWAS!!!
Mark: Mark Henry has always been a joke to you people...but at one time...Mark Henry was a true unparrellel and uncontainable force....that was with....Kama Mustafa, D-Lo Brown, Faarooq, Owen Hart, and The Rock...Today you will feast your eyes....on the new...NATION.....OF DOMINATI0N!
JR:.....I...I'm Speechless....Absolutely Speechless........
Miz: Hey Shane!!!! I know you are nothing like your father so how about you back that up by challenging me at the next show?! I win I get a contract! you win I will never ever step foot in this or any building that holds a United Wrestling Event!
King: Uhhhhhh....Who gave him a mic
*Jesse Clears his throat*
JR: No clue king...question is, will Shane except? nevertheless here is one of our 2 main events! Chris Jericho vs RVD for the Intercontinental championship!
Chris: WELCOME TO WRESTLING IS JERICHO!!!!!!! TONIGHT YOU WILL SEE JUST SIMPLY WHY I AM THE AYATOLLAH OF ROCK N' ROLLAH!!!! AND THAT YOU PEOPLE WILL NEVERRRR....EHH...EHH...EEEHHHHHHHHHHVVVVVVEERRRRR CHANT "ERR VEEE DEE" AGAYN!!!!
ROB!
VAN!
DAM!
